What do you Need to Succeed?

Archive for the ‘marital satisfaction’ Category

The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast – Check it out!

 

Coaching Through Chaos Podcast

 

 

I launched the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast – Bringing You what you need to Succeed in June on CoachingThroughChaos.com and on Bloomberg Radio 1110AM KTEK Houston’s Priceofbusiness.com.

The show is designed to bring you information and resources to empower you, educate you and enhance your life.  Once a month I’m going to a feature a resource specific for our Veterans and their families.  The episodes are 30 minutes long & launch each Tuesday along with an article on the subject on CoachingThroughChaos.com.

Guest line up so far:

Dr. Mark Wiederhold of the Virtual Reality Medical Center

Dr. Harry Haroutunian, the Physician Director of the Betty Ford Center

Darlene Lancer, LMFT, author of “Codependency for Dummies

Ret. Detective Mike Proctor, expert/author of “Antidote for a Stalker

Andrew Chang, Managing Partner of Eastern Foundry talking about their Foundry Cup competition for new tech to help our veterans with PTSD

Amy Morin, LCSW, best-selling author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Jeff Motske, CFP, radio host & author of “The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility

Melanie Notkin, best-selling author,entrepreneur talking about her book, “Otherhood“.

Stewart Levine, expert/author of “Getting to Resolution

Sasha Ginsberg, LCSW talking about mental wellness treatment at Westside DBT.

Shelly Davidescu, LMFT, therapist and entrepreneur talking about her Clean Forks program for female entrepreneurs.

Vahakn Matossian talking about the developments at HumanInstruments.co.uk and how they are making a difference in physically-challenged musicians lives.

The developers of the PocketLabApp bringing new ways for therapists to help their clients through their iphone.

 

If you want to follow me between episodes, please sign up for my mailing list at CoachingThroughChaos.com/podcast.  As a thank you for signing up, you’ll receive a FREE download of my ebook, “5 Ways: 100 Tips for Living a Happier, Healthier Life“.

If you have  ideas for guests, or if there’s a guest you’d like to hear from, let me know. I’m happy to take your suggestions.

If you know someone who continues to struggle with the same emotional mistakes over and over – whether it’s work, relationship or addiction problems, or depression, anxiety or past trauma gets in the way of them living a more fulfilling life, please send them the link to CoachingThroughChaos.com – we’d like to help 🙂

Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The give & take of who our partner is…

learn from each others strengths support weaknessesSome days we can only see our partner’s weaknesses. It is in those times when it is best to think of the times they have supported us and we persevered because we had their strength to lean on.

Image

If you’ve got this, you’re probably pretty darn content ! :)

good relaiotnship accepts past supports present and encourages future

Want more relationship satisfaction? Avoid “The Four Horsemen”!

Dr. John Gottman’s research on relationships has lead to his uncovering of 4 predictable relationship killers – he coined them “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”.  They are Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling & Contempt. This animated video was recently released by The Gottman Institute to explain how the Four Horsemen can really spell trouble for your relationship.

If you’d like to know more, I practice Gottman Method Couples Therapy and would be happy to teach you some more effective ways of communicating with your partner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o30Ps-_8is&feature=youtu.begottman watching 4 horseman cartoon

picture credit: The Gottman Institute

Some of the Research behind the Masters & Disasters of Relationships!

As you may have read on my website CoachingThroughChaos.com, I practice Gottman Method Couples Counseling.  This is a research-based method for helping couples feel closer, decrease physiological reactivity, and communicate in ways successful couples do.  When Dr. John Gottman was gathering his research over the last 40 years, he helped couples go from being “Disasters” to “Masters” in the area of successful  relationship skills.  The following article explains some of the science behind the Masters and Disasters concept.

If you relate to what you read and want to now more, I’d be happy to tell you more about it!

The Science Behind Lasting Relationships

couple-talking

Dating After the Wedding for a Happier Marriage

8839468-i-love-you-hdWhen you’ve been married a few years, relationships definitely change. Whether it is work life, bills, goals, kids & tight schedules, a toll gets taken on the relationship. Stress can cause all sorts of problems ranging from communication obstacles, weight struggles, and loss of sense of self. Even positive relationships need work to maintain them and keep a couple focused on the actual relationship verses being focused on their life.

It’s important to “date” your spouse no matter how long you’ve been together. The 7 -year- itch does truly exist, so it’s especially good to be mindful of the self-care of the marriage when it starts getting up in years.

Very often, couples get into routines with each other and if they have kids, they can often lose sight of themselves as a romantic pair altogether. They spend so much time with their ‘parent hat’ on, they can easily forget that they need to put their ‘partner hat’ back on every once in a while. When the partnership gets tended to, the relationship feels balanced. People in general, report higher rates of self-satisfaction when they feel loved and cared for. When people are in regular scheduled routines of behavior, they often lose sight of the benefits affectionate love can have on them. When you get a couple to take a break from their everyday routine to take time to focus solely on themselves as a couple, they report higher rates of emotional satisfaction in their relationship.

Some Date Night Suggestions:.

  • The couple can set up rules of conversation around their date. For instance – Once they leave the house, there will be no discussion of kids, schedules, or problems they might be having. This keeps the focus on connecting with each other.
  • They can do a “Q & A” over dinner – asking each other questions about their lives to stay connected : “what would be your dream vacation?” , “who would you say is your current best friend & why?”, “what was the funniest story you heard lately?”
  • They can schedule a regular “Date Night” or even a night away from home monthly to keep them looking forward to their “alone time”.
  • Pick a new place to go on each date, to keep it interesting.
  • Take turns with your partner planning the date