I often have to remind my clients that during their process of growth, they may be their only cheerleader because they are the ones invested in their change. If you are filled with self-doubt, your process will be more difficult. We all have self-doubt – its just a matter of making the confident voice in your head the loudest one 😉
Archive for the ‘fear’ Category
Check me out on Sherry Gaba’s website. Sherry is the therapist on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew”. This was the very first blog post I ever wrote! Thanks Sherry for the opportunity!
This is so true in both negative & positive ways. Notice where you put your mind energy – if it is in self-doubt and discouraging thoughts you will find your results will reflect that. Shift your thinking, un-cloud your mind and positively focus on your goals and you will see results!!
1. Identify the problem.
2. Speak with a purpose. Think before you speak.
What is the point you are trying to make?
3. State your viewpoint clearly and concisely.
4. Keep your tone calm. Two (or more) persons speaking loudly in order to be “heard” are rarely listened to.
5. Be gracious no matter what the outcome. It is alright to agree to disagree. Conflicts are not contests, the goal is not to win, it is to resolve a problem.
People are known to complain about what they don’t have. We have all heard someone say, “I just don’t think I have what it takes to succeed” or that they feel “stuck” in their current life situation. People complain that lack of motivation, personal accountability and consistency holds them back but they often have vague ideas about what “success” really looks like. A commonly held belief about lack of success is that one is not confident enough to “go after” success or that they have “low self-esteem” which holds them back. It’s not uncommon for people to let troubles from their childhood keep them stuck in a belief that they don’t deserve anything better as an adult. The problem is that people rarely perceive themselves accurately. What actually blocks a person from achieving their goals is fear. They often hold their fear without being consciously aware of it. Some common fears are:
Fear of Failure
Fear of Achieving
Fear of Rejection
Fear of taking a different path in life
Once a person accepts that they are fearful of some aspect of achieving the success they desire, they can 1. Begin to let go of a deep rooted belief that their life will never change and 2. Work on pinpointing the underlying emotional obstacles. For example, if they fear failure, what is the belief they hold around failure that limits them from moving forward? Once they address this, a goal can be accurately defined. Once a goal is defined, an action plan can follow. Tapping into how to stay motivated, accountable and consistent becomes easier now. A person can work positively towards a goal when they hold an awareness of what they fear. What goals do you think you haven’t pursued because of a fear? What stops you from starting today?
Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT