What do you Need to Succeed?

Archive for the ‘expectations’ Category

The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast – Check it out!

 

Coaching Through Chaos Podcast

 

 

I launched the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast – Bringing You what you need to Succeed in June on CoachingThroughChaos.com and on Bloomberg Radio 1110AM KTEK Houston’s Priceofbusiness.com.

The show is designed to bring you information and resources to empower you, educate you and enhance your life.  Once a month I’m going to a feature a resource specific for our Veterans and their families.  The episodes are 30 minutes long & launch each Tuesday along with an article on the subject on CoachingThroughChaos.com.

Guest line up so far:

Dr. Mark Wiederhold of the Virtual Reality Medical Center

Dr. Harry Haroutunian, the Physician Director of the Betty Ford Center

Darlene Lancer, LMFT, author of “Codependency for Dummies

Ret. Detective Mike Proctor, expert/author of “Antidote for a Stalker

Andrew Chang, Managing Partner of Eastern Foundry talking about their Foundry Cup competition for new tech to help our veterans with PTSD

Amy Morin, LCSW, best-selling author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Jeff Motske, CFP, radio host & author of “The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility

Melanie Notkin, best-selling author,entrepreneur talking about her book, “Otherhood“.

Stewart Levine, expert/author of “Getting to Resolution

Sasha Ginsberg, LCSW talking about mental wellness treatment at Westside DBT.

Shelly Davidescu, LMFT, therapist and entrepreneur talking about her Clean Forks program for female entrepreneurs.

Vahakn Matossian talking about the developments at HumanInstruments.co.uk and how they are making a difference in physically-challenged musicians lives.

The developers of the PocketLabApp bringing new ways for therapists to help their clients through their iphone.

 

If you want to follow me between episodes, please sign up for my mailing list at CoachingThroughChaos.com/podcast.  As a thank you for signing up, you’ll receive a FREE download of my ebook, “5 Ways: 100 Tips for Living a Happier, Healthier Life“.

If you have  ideas for guests, or if there’s a guest you’d like to hear from, let me know. I’m happy to take your suggestions.

If you know someone who continues to struggle with the same emotional mistakes over and over – whether it’s work, relationship or addiction problems, or depression, anxiety or past trauma gets in the way of them living a more fulfilling life, please send them the link to CoachingThroughChaos.com – we’d like to help 🙂

Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This Girl Here Finished a Half Marathon!!! Woo-Hoo!!

me with ctc cap before raceBack in November I completed the Destination Races Temecula Half Marathon at the South Coast Winery.  As my friends who are active half and full marathon participants have called it, it was my “first” half marathon.  I, however, have not decided if I will put myself through that again!  I have such mixed emotions about it.  I learned a couple of really cool things about myself through this experience.  But first, Ill tell you a bit about the experience…..

I signed up for this race with a friend who I wanted to run a race with a few years ago, but a ligament injury got in the way.  My friend went on to run that particular race and has since completed several half marathons.  Last March, she basically said, “Colleen, you keep talking about wanting to run a Half, here’s one in Temecula – let’s sign up!” So, we did, and I began training.  My friend actually had to cancel herself out of the race soon after signing up when she realized she would be out of the state at a family function that day.  I decided to go it alone and just try to complete this personal goal I’ve had for a few years.

I’ve been running for many many years, but never more than about 4 miles with the exception of one 10K (6m) race a few years ago.  I found a training guide online and began following it.  I did really well for the first few months.  On my 44th birthday in August, I ran 8.4 miles around Mission Bay.  As a side note, I have a tradition of going for a powerful run on my birthday – it doesn’t always have to be long, but I like to do some sort of local destination run – I started on my 40th birthday, so it felt great to run this far on my 44th!! I was on FIRE!

But then…..I took a series of trips to visit family and for work training.  I was away at least one week of Aug, Sept, and Oct.  This threw my training off.  It was no one’s fault but my own.  I didn’t run nearly as much as I should have during these months.  In fact, my birthday run remained my farthest run until the actual day of the race. Because my training was not up to par, I decided 3 weeks before the race to really put it into full gear – and I did, but actually did some temporary damage by doing too much too soon.  I set 6 miles as my shortest runs and within the first 10 days of heavy training again, I found I had some severe metatarsal pain. I sought out the advice of a couple of personal trainer pals and the result was that I was not going to run until the race.  The thinking was that since I know I can do at least the 8.4 miles, if I take care of my body, I should be able to get through the race the next week.

Well, the couple of days before the race, I found myself extremely anxious- I’m not usually an anxious person, so, I focused on positive intentions of completing the race – that was the intention – I let go of needing to complete it within a certain time or even holding myself to running the entire course – I just wanted to complete it – period. Well, I did complete it.  I set a personal record of running 10 miles without stopping.  Oh, but wait! I bet you’re thinking – “Uh, Colleen, a Half Marathon is 13.1 miles, not 10!” Right you are! But first things first – I RAN 10 MILES!!!! HOLY COW! OK…and then the metatarsal pain kicked in so badly I had to walk the next 2 miles.  Those were pretty slow miles – I had to keep stopping to stretch the bottom of my feet to lessen the pain.  Then, at the beginning of mile `12, I thought, “I got this! I can run the last 1.1 miles!” Well, my mind was definitely fighting against my body – I tried to jog and realized I was so dehydrated that my calves started to seize and cramp, so I was left to walk to the finish line.  Ah well – crossing the finish line did happen, but the screaming rock star I envisioned myself to be in my fantasies wasn’t there.  The scream was more of a cry of relief when I saw my husband standing there waiting for me.   I remember just grabbing his shoulders and crying – there were definitely tears of pride and joy in there, mixed with ones of fear because my body never really felt the way it did for about the past hour.   There was a party going on at the winery.  People looked happy.  There was live music.  Lots of racers were walking around with their complimentary wine and goodie bags.  Me?  I collapsed on the ground and hoped no one would step on me while I tried to talk my body into calming down! It eventually did and about 20 minutes after I finished the race, I requested that we just pick up our belongings at the hotel and head on home because I wanted to go to bed…no after-race party for me!…lol..After dealing with a few hours of severe dehydration, my body was quite fine and I was quite proud of my accomplishment 🙂

Here’s what I learned about the experience:

1.  There’s no such thing as drinking too much water! (Seriously!)

2.  For as much as I didn’t gracefully run across the finish line as I dreamed of, I still hit a very significant personal best of running the 10 miles.

3.  I was able to let go of needing to finish by a certain time or needing to run the entire race.  I always hold myself to very high standards.  I can be very self-critical.  In this case, the needs of my body over-ruled whatever I wanted to put it through to meet my goal – and that was OK. If I want to do this again in the future (notice I said do, not try) I will definitely be prepared to train more consistently – that lesson was definitely learned!

4.  Before the race, I would say, “I’m training for my first half marathon” rather than “I’m training for a half marathon” – like this was just the beginning…lol….I think for now, I’m good with just one – that is something new for me –  my competitive nature usually forces my hand in these situations, but I’m going to sit with this accomplishment for now and enjoy it for what it is before I move on to the next 🙂

CoachingThroughChaos.com

Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT

The Past has No Power…..

Past has no power over the present moment  If you want to make changes, just be what you want to be. People feel bound to their past.  You only have obstacles to overcome when you focus on not being something else anymore verses being who you want to be.  When you decide to be “a better parent” or “be a healthy person” or “be a supportive partner” who you were even yesterday makes no difference if this is what your intention is today.  Being who you want to be today may take effort and thinking differently, but the thoughts you need to focus on are the ones in line with what you want the outcome to be – you don’t need to spend time on regretting or wishing yesterday (or the last 20 years) were different.  That will only hold you back.  Focusing on today move you forward!

CoachingThroughChaos.com

Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT

A weekend wish for you….

idead running around headWe sometimes have so many ideas, thoughts and emotions running through our heads.  During our work weeks, it can be hard to find time to sort through them, to even feel them or savor them.  Did you have a really great moment this week you want to hold on to?  or in contrast, did you and your partner have an argument you haven’t even had time to process yet?  My wish for you is to take some time for yourself this weekend to sit with your thoughts, hear them, feel them (even the difficult ones) and make decisions about what to do about them.  Then, take some time to tend to yourself and your loved ones.

Self-Employed Day Off?

As a therapist, I work with people all the time helping them “set limits” or structure their time accordingly for self-care, focusing on helping them achieve balance in their life.  Being self-employed, I’ve had to remind myself of my own advice.  I’m currently in the office only 3 days per week – which, on paper, looks like I’d have  A LOT of free time.  I wish!! I just ended a 5 hour writing session for a 1-day class I’m teaching in a few weeks.  I thought it was going to take about 3 hours in total ….& I’m only halfway done!  Friday, I will spend a couple of hours completing my billing & making sure all my paperwork is done for the week.  I’m also working on some new marketing strategies that I need to develop which will involve: phone calls, personal meetings, letter writing, maybe a free lecture or two, & designing new cards & brochures.  In the end, I pretty much work at least a little bit 6 days a week. I truly try not to touch work materials on Sundays, but I won’t say that keeps my mind off of thinking about work.  I’m fortunate in that I  can only be in my office 3 days per week so that I have the time to be the one-woman-show that I am and work on all the background items that keep me running & generate new business.  I do find time to spend with my husband, exercise, and fuss around with my garden so I feel that I have a fair balance in my life, but all this got me thinking about people’s expectations of being self-employed.

If you are self-employed (1 person business or a small venture), what were some of the biggest surprises/adjustments to your life that are due to being self-employed?  What are ways that you separate yourself from your work?  If you were to be given a “do-over” would you have changed anything about the employment path you chose?

For the record, I would never change anything about my decision to be self-employed, but I have learned some lessons along the way about how to do it!

Ill be interested to hear what your thoughts! Please comment!Monstar working This is my little sidekick Monstar who is always willing to help me work! 🙂

Seizing opportunities!!

Check me out on Sherry Gaba’s website.  Sherry is the therapist on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew”.  This was the very first blog post I ever wrote! Thanks Sherry for the opportunity!

Colleen

http://www.sherrygaba.com/blog/accepting-fear-to-find-success-by-colleen-mullen-psy.d.-lmft

 

“Where attention goes, energy flows and results show” T. Harv Eker

This is so true in both negative & positive ways. Notice where you put your mind energy – if it is in self-doubt and discouraging thoughts you will find your results will reflect that. Shift your thinking, un-cloud your mind and positively focus on your goals and you will see results!!