What do you Need to Succeed?

Archive for January, 2015

You got to do things differently if you want things to change!

if you want something youve never had you have to do something youve never doneIn my experience, this is one of the hardest concepts for people to grasp when they come to me for coaching them through a life change.  Very often, we will look at what needs to change, and it will be met with resistance.  This is somewhat normal – many of us don’t naturally gravitate towards change – Me?  I love it & embrace it! but I can empathize with those that don’t share my enthusiasm.  That being said, doing something different is not always easy, but it is a certainty if you want change to appear! Best wishes for success!



How we use words matters

i will vs will iSame 2 words, just rephrased.  This can make all the difference in your motivation.  I often counsel people generally in the importance of how we chose what words to use.  This is a very clear example of the difference how we phrase our words changes the translation of what we are saying.  It’s very important when you are trying to change a behavior/habit/thought pattern to be very clear in your mind of the words and phrasing you are using in your own “self-talk” to help you form new thought patterns. Best wishes for success to you!


The give & take of who our partner is…

learn from each others strengths support weaknessesSome days we can only see our partner’s weaknesses. It is in those times when it is best to think of the times they have supported us and we persevered because we had their strength to lean on.

My ESPN Radio post! Listen here! :)

HI! Here is the audio playback and some pics from my ESPN Radio Interview talking a bit about what I do and a few quick tips on how to emotionally survive a bankruptcy! Im on for the entire hour, but my segment starts right around 26:30min in. Thanks for listening! 🙂


ESPN Radio Selfiecolleen on ESPNespn logoESPN with hosts

How will you build your happy cage?

A lot of talk in recovery work deals with “building a positive (& sober) support network” and there is a concept called “re-joyment” – essentially it’s teaching addicts in recovery how to have a good time or recognize fun when they experience it.  When people have been addicted to substances, they are used to such dopamine overloads in their mind, that when life returns to “normal” and they don’t have such stimulation, it can sometimes be difficult for one to recognize a sense of what “joy” or “fun” feels like. When I have taught Drug & Alcohol Counseling courses, I used an example of the football game: Very often addicts/alcoholics were used to supporting their teams through  hours-long tailgating with lots of alcohol (which also increases the brains release of dopamine) & alcohol throughout the game.  When they are sober, they have to “re-learn” how to participate at a game & what exactly they are feeling.  People DO go to football games without drinking AND they may even tailgate without alcohol, but for the alcoholic in recovery, this is a new concept to them.  This is why the positive support network has been a positive part of recovery.

The article linked below provides new support for the positive supportive environment & it’s role in helping addicts stay clean.  It reminded me of the expression: “Happy Wife, Happy Life” 🙂 Researchers found that when rats who were previously addicted to drug-infused water and isolative environments, they got addicted, but when they gave them the same water paired with other rats they could interact with, even after being “addicted”, they were ale to stop drinking the drug-infused water.  The article notes that in a preliminary study with combat veterans, when they were addicted overseas in combat, they could more easily leave the addiction behind when they were back home in happier environments.  The article posits that, like the rats who did better in more hospitable cage environments, we humans can design our cages (or support networks) in happier ways that could lead to more positive outcomes for a person’s recovery from addiction.

This post was inspired by someone dear to me who is trying to learn about their own venture into addiction and how to stay sober and I just want to publicly note how thrilled to know she is surviving and learning through her sobriety 🙂


Please like & share as you see fit!

If you would like more information on addiction resources or counseling/coaching support, please contact me through my website at CoachingThroughChaos.com

How will you make a difference?

Make a differenceThis week, I would encourage you to focus on the little ways you can make a difference – not only in your life, but in others.  Can you hold the door open for someone as your leaving?  Can you call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while?  Can you give a compliment to a stranger on the street?  Can you drop a blanket off at your nearest homeless shelter?  Have you asked your partner lately how you can better emotionally support them?

Making a difference can be done in so many ways  –  what will you do?

What seems impossible to you?

it always seems impossible until its doneThe range of variability in what one views as impossible never ceases to amaze me! From house chores to bungee jumping – it’s all relative to the individual.  What seems impossible to you? Planning on taking on an “impossible” task this weekend, or sometime soon?