I hear so many stories of misunderstandings or feelings of contempt in couples due to “over-thinking”. The old saying “Sometimes less is more” rings appropriate in these situations. Have a good weekend….& don’t think too much 😉
Archive for October, 2014
For those that struggle with losing all their “willpower” or mindful behaviors just because it’s the weekend, this is a fun pic with some good tips to help you stay on track Have a good weekend everyone!
As a therapist, I work with people all the time helping them “set limits” or structure their time accordingly for self-care, focusing on helping them achieve balance in their life. Being self-employed, I’ve had to remind myself of my own advice. I’m currently in the office only 3 days per week – which, on paper, looks like I’d have A LOT of free time. I wish!! I just ended a 5 hour writing session for a 1-day class I’m teaching in a few weeks. I thought it was going to take about 3 hours in total ….& I’m only halfway done! Friday, I will spend a couple of hours completing my billing & making sure all my paperwork is done for the week. I’m also working on some new marketing strategies that I need to develop which will involve: phone calls, personal meetings, letter writing, maybe a free lecture or two, & designing new cards & brochures. In the end, I pretty much work at least a little bit 6 days a week. I truly try not to touch work materials on Sundays, but I won’t say that keeps my mind off of thinking about work. I’m fortunate in that I can only be in my office 3 days per week so that I have the time to be the one-woman-show that I am and work on all the background items that keep me running & generate new business. I do find time to spend with my husband, exercise, and fuss around with my garden so I feel that I have a fair balance in my life, but all this got me thinking about people’s expectations of being self-employed.
If you are self-employed (1 person business or a small venture), what were some of the biggest surprises/adjustments to your life that are due to being self-employed? What are ways that you separate yourself from your work? If you were to be given a “do-over” would you have changed anything about the employment path you chose?
For the record, I would never change anything about my decision to be self-employed, but I have learned some lessons along the way about how to do it!
Check me out on Sherry Gaba’s website. Sherry is the therapist on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew”. This was the very first blog post I ever wrote! Thanks Sherry for the opportunity!
This is so true in both negative & positive ways. Notice where you put your mind energy – if it is in self-doubt and discouraging thoughts you will find your results will reflect that. Shift your thinking, un-cloud your mind and positively focus on your goals and you will see results!!
1. Identify the problem.
2. Speak with a purpose. Think before you speak.
What is the point you are trying to make?
3. State your viewpoint clearly and concisely.
4. Keep your tone calm. Two (or more) persons speaking loudly in order to be “heard” are rarely listened to.
5. Be gracious no matter what the outcome. It is alright to agree to disagree. Conflicts are not contests, the goal is not to win, it is to resolve a problem.
People are known to complain about what they don’t have. We have all heard someone say, “I just don’t think I have what it takes to succeed” or that they feel “stuck” in their current life situation. People complain that lack of motivation, personal accountability and consistency holds them back but they often have vague ideas about what “success” really looks like. A commonly held belief about lack of success is that one is not confident enough to “go after” success or that they have “low self-esteem” which holds them back. It’s not uncommon for people to let troubles from their childhood keep them stuck in a belief that they don’t deserve anything better as an adult. The problem is that people rarely perceive themselves accurately. What actually blocks a person from achieving their goals is fear. They often hold their fear without being consciously aware of it. Some common fears are:
Fear of Failure
Fear of Achieving
Fear of Rejection
Fear of taking a different path in life
Once a person accepts that they are fearful of some aspect of achieving the success they desire, they can 1. Begin to let go of a deep rooted belief that their life will never change and 2. Work on pinpointing the underlying emotional obstacles. For example, if they fear failure, what is the belief they hold around failure that limits them from moving forward? Once they address this, a goal can be accurately defined. Once a goal is defined, an action plan can follow. Tapping into how to stay motivated, accountable and consistent becomes easier now. A person can work positively towards a goal when they hold an awareness of what they fear. What goals do you think you haven’t pursued because of a fear? What stops you from starting today?
Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT